You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
