i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
