so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize