I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
