Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
