Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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