i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize