i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
