It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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