FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
