And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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