she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
