my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
