It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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