Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
