The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
