I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
