So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
