I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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