he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
