I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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