My friends, they love my intelligence
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
