if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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