Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
