dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
