I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
