Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
