I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
