Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
