he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize