Can i not drive my cunt home
he wants to bone in the snuggie
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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