i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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