white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
