i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize