Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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