Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
