THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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