I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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