Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
