You made me cry and you don't even care
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
