Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
