R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
