we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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