PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We need to rekindle our bromance
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
