My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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