well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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