Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
