Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
