used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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