i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
