I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
