I'm going to jail i love you
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
