Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
