We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
