The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
