Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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