nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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