how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize