Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
