Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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