I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
