First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
